queericulum vitae #2 - summer 2006
One year later. If you had told us so last year, we would have laughed. We don't need a whole year. All right, we examine things thoroughly, but who needs twelve months to prepare the second issue of an electronic magazine! And not even a real magazine, we are talking about a zine, not even a "regular" magazine. How many words do you need for a CV anyway?
It seems, you need as many words as you can fit in one year. But so many were left out and many did not even find their way to the second issue. It drives you crazy. There are many words that we have not created yet, and many that wait around the corner ,for the next issues and years of life.
To have words for your stories means that you possess the tools in order to tell these stories. Telling your stories means that you create your space in the world, it means that you produce the language that constructs you. You gain - partly but truly - control over the means of production, in the narrative yarn. You create your perception of the world. You can tell a story through which you recognize yourself and others recognize you. You can choose your name. Or you can reflect on the meaning of the name that was chosen for you.
This CV marks the story of our queerness. It is queer - and it's not. We are queer - and we are not.
Between male and female, the dichotomous system of gender and its power, heteronormativity, transphobia and homophobia, the categories and the symbols of masculinity and femininity, the legal and illegal sexualities and desires, we are trying to make sense out of things. We are trying to reveal the torn pieces divided parts, but not in order to unite them "again" into a whole body as it supposedly was "some time long ago", in a myth about a time before power structures. Nor is our purpose to "take back" what "they stole" from us. We speak about the "dichotomy" in order to break the mirror in which we were taught to look at ourselves.
We will construct the gaze that looks at our body. And this will create the categories from the beginning with the hope that we can fit more probabilities and desires and other possibilities of being. And in this way we will take revenge for all those bodies that were not allowed to or could not have a voice.
A whole year passed without a second issue because we were too preoccupied with life and were too lazy to enlist in the cause. You probably understand what we mean. It's difficult to take theory and apply it to your life or turn your life into a theory. It is also difficult to create tools and to create content and translate it in a common language - the demand for comprehension. Do you see what we mean? How can you transform it your experience into knowledge? How do you cross the desert of subjectivity to meet with others? We do not have the answer to this nor did we have anyone to guide us through the path of collective action.
So we set up our own laboratory in order to make our own imprint. The one that travels from experience and body to critical political analysis and from there back to the connections of our microcosm, where the microphysics of power is developed: in public toilets, bushes, hangouts, bars, parks, doctors, relationships, anecdotes, rituals, silences. Somewhere over there we placed our workbench, trying to short-circuit the partial with the general and to relate questions about life to the experiences of oppression and to our own image as agents of action. As voyeurs in a detailed self-examination of our political conscience, we are trying to make the theory of our own anatomy. A theory, in which medical discourse and its power as well as the notions of normal and mainstream are being challenged. An anatomy of feelings that engages in a hands-on collective process of questioning the moral order, philosophical chattering, self-sarcastic experiments but also creation of networks. Because these things happen elsewhere as well.
And somewhere in between, the second issue was published. Somewhere between desires, regressions, contradictions and debates, the continuity with the moment one year ago was created. This is our imprint in discourse, number two. And, in one way or another, it will continue.
"Is another body possible? ", ask some of our friends and they answer "it must be, 'cause here we are".
Have a nice summer.